


Dim

by ddelusionall



Category: JYJ (Band), Super Junior
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, Jealousy, M/M, Open Relationships, Yoochun is not okay with that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-28
Updated: 2012-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:15:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23928220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddelusionall/pseuds/ddelusionall
Summary: Yoochun goes to Jaejoong's even though there is already someone there.
Relationships: Kim Heechul/Kim Jaejoong, Kim Jaejoong/Park Yoochun





	Dim

**Author's Note:**

> I am importing my stories from LiveJournal. The original fic can be found [here](http://be-ddelusionall.livejournal.com/).
> 
> I haven't read this story in a long time, so I may have missed some tags. Just let me know if I did.

The bright lights of Yoochun’s white Ferrari illuminated the black gate. The lights on the house down the road shone as a beacon of rest and relaxation. Yoochun put in Jaejoong’s code and drove around the sloping drive to the underground parking. The guest spot was already taken and he cursed, recognizing Heechul’s Audi. Yoochun thought about pulling away and going home, but he hadn’t had time to see Jaejoong between the other’s fan meets and globe-hopping and his own drama filming.

Junsu’s normal space was empty and the garage and security attendants knew better than to ticket Yoochun for parking there, especially when Junsu was at his parents’ place for the week.

Yoochun pulled into the spot, turned the car off and put his head on the steering wheel for a moment. He took deep breaths of control and reminded himself again and again that having part of Jaejoong was better than having none of Jaejoong.

He climbed out of the car, slamming the door a little too hard. Walking toward the stairs, he yanked out his cigarettes and had one lit before remembering that he’d brought Jaejoong a present. He stopped and debated, and then returned to the car to grab the Ralph Lauren bag.

After tossing the half-smoked cigarette to the cement, Yoochun went back toward the stairs and climbed to the second floor, using each step and climb to steady his breathing. He’d had asthma attacks in similar situations, hidden in the stairwell until it passed. Sometimes, after such moments, he turned coward and ran away. Other times he went and tortured himself anyway.

With a sigh, he used his keycard and swiped the door unlocked. He pushed it open, immediately feeling better in the dimly lit apartment. It was still so early in the morning. Jaejoong wouldn’t drag himself out of Heechul’s arms until he had to. Or unless he had some incentive.

Yoochun kicked his shoes off. Smiling slightly, he went into the kitchen and set the bag on the counter. He retrieved a baking sheet from the cupboard. In the fridge, he found a few of the pastries that Jaejoong loved and only let himself eat on Sundays. Yoochun pulled out three of the fruit filled dough and placed them on the baking sheet. It would take about an hour for them to rise enough to bake. In the meantime, Yoochun went to Jaejoong’s studio. He passed the bedroom. The door was open, and Yoochun stopped, thought about it, and peeked inside anyway.

It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the dim light in the bedroom. The sun was rising.

Two lumps on the bed, so close together they were almost one. Sometimes that second lump was Yoochun. He wondered how many times Heechul peered in at them when they were sleeping.

Yoochun forced himself away from the bedroom and finished the trip to the studio. He slipped on a pair of headphones and listened to some of the new things Jaejoong was writing.

Yoochun preferred to do this while Jaejoong was there, so they could bounce ideas off each other, but Yoochun did not want to go into the bedroom to wake him up. Thinking that he was probably curled up naked with Heechul and finding out that he was actually curled up naked with Heechul were two different sorts of pain, and he wasn’t that much of a masochist. He lit another cigarette, and chain-smoked (the studio was the only place Jaejoong let any of them smoke, because it was better to smoke in there than to risk losing a melody or refrain because you needed some nicotine) and made notes about the music until the hour was up.

He stood up, stretching. With another deep breath, Yoochun went back through the house. Morning sunlight tried to force its way past the curtains in the living room and kitchen. Everything was calm, undisturbed, and Yoochun thought for a moment about leaving again. But if he did, the pastries would be ruined and Jaejoong would kill him.

With a soft smile, Yoochun turned the oven on and let it warm up. He played on his phone while he was waiting and smiled at the pictures of Junsu and Junho that their mom had posted to Twitter. The oven beeped, the soft noise loud and jarring in the silence and tranquility of the kitchen.

Yoochun put the pastries in the oven to cook for about twenty minutes and then started coffee. Too keep his hands busy (and because he definitely couldn’t smoke in Jaejoong’s kitchen), Yoochun found some fruit in the fridge and cut it up. At first he only made enough for two, and then remembered why he was in the kitchen this early in the morning instead of curled up with Jaejoong, warm and sleep-rumpled, sliding skin together … Yoochun cleared that image from his head and put out a third bowl.

The coffee finished brewing, and Yoochun poured himself a mug, sipping on it black. He contemplated their situation. Jaejoong was the only man that Yoochun had gone further than kissing with. They joked around about the soul mate thing, but it really did feel like they were half of one person. To him, Jaejoong was all he needed.

Jaejoong obviously didn’t feel the same way considering his current bed partner.

Yoochun tried to be understanding. Jaejoong and Heechul had been lovers since they were put into the same group right after they both joined SM. Coming in later and being quiet and awkward had put a rift between him and Heechul, but Jaejoong hadn’t cared and stuck to him from day one. That was probably why Heechul didn’t like Yoochun much. Jealousy. It was one of the reasons why Yoochun didn’t like Heechul much.

They had one thing in common.

Two, if he counted Jaejoong.

Two strong arms wrapped around his waist, and Yoochun smiled, shifting his weight and tilting his head to the side. Jaejoong kissed his earlobe and hummed, the noise thick with sleep. Yoochun figured he’d only opened his eyes enough to stumble to the kitchen.

“Morning, love,” Yoochun whispered.

Jaejoong hummed again and swayed lightly.

Yoochun put his coffee down and turned around in Jaejoong’s arms. Their lips touched and Yoochun fought back the heartache that he wasn’t the only one allowed to kiss them.

Maybe he was incredibly masochistic.

“I brought you a present,” Yoochun said.

“More than your delicious body?” Jaejoong asked between kisses.

Yoochun didn’t smile or say what he was thinking about Jaejoong not needing his body that morning. He cupped Jaejoong’s face and pulled his head back. Jaejoong’s lips puckered in an exaggerated pout and Yoochun pressed his cheeks firmer to make it even worse. They both laughed.

Heechul scoffed in contempt behind him, and Yoochun was saved from making a scathing remark by the oven beeping. He turned around, ignored Jaejoong’s frown and hastily pulled the pastries from the oven.

Jaejoong went to the coffee machine and poured himself and Heechul a cup, doctoring both until they were sugary and light brown.

Yoochun gripped the edge of the counter, glaring at the pastries like the sudden awkward feeling permeating the kitchen was their fault, instead of his fault.

Or Jaejoong’s fault.

Jaejoong refused to choose.

Yoochun and Heechul refused to make him. Whoever did would be the one who lost. They both knew it.

Jaejoong asked for a threesome once, and Yoochun remembered looking at Heechul until the other sneered in disgust and said no way. Yoochun had tried to be attracted to Heechul, for Jaejoong’s sake, but it was impossible. Heechul was an attractive man, definitely. But even if Yoochun had found him sexually attractive, no one but Jaejoong had ever made his heart race, or his chest tighten, or his breath catch.

Yoochun reached for the cupboard. The bag behind him moved and Jaejoong “ooh”-ed when he saw the cashmere sweater. Yes, Yoochun threw his money around, and yes, Yoochun left the price tag on just in case Heechul had been here to see that he could afford to buy his boyfriend a $400 sweater. Heechul had money too, but not as much as Yoochun.

Yoochun put each pastry on a plate and added a dollop of strawberry jam to his plate and Jaejoong’s, but put peach on Heechul’s plate. It was his favorite.

He turned around right when Jaejoong was pulling the sweater on over his head and Yoochun stopped breathing until the pale, tempting skin was covered. Only after did he realize there had been marks on Jaejoong’s skin that he did not put there. He tried not to think about Heechul sucking on that pale skin while slowly and efficiently turning Jaejoong into a mess underneath him. He put Heechul’s plate in front of the other, slamming it a bit harder than necessary, and murmured some polite form of “eat well”. He and Heechul always spoke formally to each other (unless Jaejoong wasn’t there and Heechul talked to him like he was a dog).

“It’s amazing, Chunnie-sarang,” Jaejoong said and hugged Yoochun tightly. He kissed his cheek, and Yoochun shut his eyes, half to soak in Jaejoong’s loving embrace and the other to keep from meeting Heechul’s eyes.

“Thank you,” Jaejoong whispered, and Yoochun knew it was for more than the sweater.

Yoochun nodded, throat closing, but he would not cry in front of Heechul.

“I love you,” Jaejoong said, voice still lower.

Yoochun cleared his throat and whispered it back.


End file.
